What is Wrong with Me?
Lately I’ve had to explain my personality traits to people, which is a weird thing to have to do. It’s especially daunting when I don’t like to converse with very many people to begin with. We live in a society that is largely extroverted and very few people really understand that not everyone needs the company of others.
First off, the main difference between having an introverted and extroverted personality is the need to be around people. So you can see why I say society is extroverted. Not only that, but our society also praises those with extroverted personality traits, saying that the need to be around others is ‘normal’.
So what can you expect from most of us introverts? Well, let me tell you:
Expect me to be fun at a party.
I’m not shy and never have been. I enjoy a good party along with the next person. But if I’m going to be around a lot of people on Saturday don’t call me up on Monday and expect me to talk to you for any real length of time. I’m good for five minutes tops. So say whatever it is you’re going to say quickly. Better yet, just text or message me.
And while we’re on the subject of parties, let me just say that in general most of us introverts don’t like to leave their house very much. If we don’t come to your party, it’s because we really don’t want to be around very many people that day. Don’t take it personal. We really do need time by ourselves to decompress and ponder life.
You’ll hear things like, “I’m not feeling well” and “Sorry, I have something else to do”. This just means that we don’t want to hurt your feels so we’re lying to you. What we’re really saying is, “I just can’t interact with people today”. And just know that we won’t always say no, just sometimes.
I may not take your phone calls
I just won’t. Again, it’s not because I don’t like you. I just don’t want to talk to you all the time. Texting is a beautiful, wonderful tool that allows me to address whatever issue you’re having without actually speaking to you.
I live in my own head
Living in my own head might mean it will take me a while to respond to you. I need time to think so don’t rush me for an answer to a question you might have. Also, I’m a write. Of course, I like what’s going on in my own head better than the real world. Have you been in the real world? It sucks a lot.
I’m extremely comfortable all by myself.
This is a big one because it’s very hard for most people to understand and this is a fundamental truth for introverts. Again, this comes right back to what society says we should want and that is to surround ourselves with as many people as possible. Being around others makes us a whole person, being accepted by the masses, not dying alone blah, blah, blah.
My response: Thanks, but no thanks. I enjoy my own company. A lot.
I really am doing just dandy all by myself. I don’t crave your presence. When I want your attention I’ll ask for it. If you’re a close friend or a member of my family chances are I’ve called you up and asked to be around you. Also, more than likely I won’t visit. This is because I don’t want to leave my house. If I invite you over, then take me up on it if you want to see me, otherwise let it go, my friend. Let it go.
In conclusion, if I’m around people to much I start getting a little anxious, which turns into irritation very quickly. Really, nobody wants that. If you’re an extrovert and like all the things that I don’t, then I’m happy for you. Just be you and count yourself lucky because you fit in with society’s idea of normal. But please-I’m begging you-don’t expect me to want the same things you do or even to want to fit in with ‘normal’. I like me just the way I am and if you don’t by all means don’t talk to me anymore. I’m really, truly okay with that.